September 4, 2014

WHAT A RIDE IT'S BEEN

THE THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY


One evening it's carousel and pony rides at the county fair- the next, it's a fiery inferno engulfing life as we knew it.  


It was that next day that we lost our home- and the years of energy and work we placed in it... we lost investments of time and money- and the beautiful forest sanctuary we prepared for our family…we lost the cute cabin we built for guests, the studio space we always wanted, and the nursery for our child- lovingly created just 22 months prior…we lost our baby books, childhood mementos, family heirlooms, treasured love letters, irreplaceable photos, souvenirs from travels, wedding keepsakes, and an inventory of our artwork that developed. Fifteen years of building a life together were reduced to charred remnants that barely filled a plastic tote- we lost part of ourselves that day and with it comes a residual pain that will never go away.
Since that day, we’ve lost friends along the way- whether we are to blame or not, we all had to find our own ways to cope with the situation…even with the best intentions, perhaps this type of life-transforming event changes us too much to take things back to the way they were…so, grief remains there, and we’ve found out a lot about ourselves- the hard way.
Through all the loss we have found other things too… we found our bootstraps- and we continue to pull ourselves up by them…we found strengths in ourselves we wouldn’t have otherwise known…and we found weaknesses that we hope to improve. We found silver linings, unusual passions, creative solutions and new skills... we found different dreams to work toward.  We found that we are unique in an uncomfortable, yet liberating way.
We found that no matter how hard you plan and work at it- the future you expect is not guaranteed…so for today- grab the reigns, hold onto your ponies, enjoy the ups and downs of the carousel, and savor the merry-go-round…’cause, after all, it’s just a ride.