YOUR SERVICE IS APPRECIATED
It was after the fire in 2011 when we first met at the pawn shop.You started your life in a foreign factory, and were sold thru a cheap retailer. I had no idea who owned you prior to our meeting, or how you were treated before you were hocked, but for 60 bucks I was willing to take a chance on you.
You had no idea what I was about to get you involved in, but I was honestly naive at the time. You and I, we had a good run. I must say, you well exceeded my $60 worth of expectations from a low quality pneumatic tool with oddball nail requirements.
Oh sure, you're an oddball, but so am I...you aren't fancy or expensive, and neither am I....that's why we made a good team. How many times I needed you to deliver that one nail to set a heavy board...knees knocking on shaky ladders, dangling from the rafters, and you came through for me time and time again.
And well, I'm sorry for all those times I cussed at you, it wasn't your fault. It was me. I know you were doing the best you could under the circumstances. It sure was a crazy time for us all.
Oh and remember how I forced you to shoot the wrong degree nails for so long...haha, that was funny, but dude, you did it! Way to go!... And also that time when I found you those two boxes of the right nails on clearance for $10 each?...4000 nails! that was amazing! Ah, the good times.
Of course, there were times you needed some TLC and redneck modifications to keep trudging along...but you did and I thank you. I thank you for the 15,000+ nails you shot to build my home and workshop. We were strong, we were brave, and we limped along together through it all, but sadly I am no longer able to resuscitate you.
Now with your passing, I feel as though I've lost a sidekick and valuable team member. I regret I never gave you a cool name like, "Trigger". And will see to it that you have a proper burial.
I say too soon your demise, old friend, for I still have 2000 of those oddball nails that will never know the sweet touch of your internal piston.
Goodbye, nail gun, our family thanks you for your valiant service.